Monday, June 18, 2007

Loving Someone Else's Child

For true love is inexhaustible; the more you give, the more you have. And if you go to draw at the true fountainhead, the more water you draw, the more abundant is its flow.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

When we first began thinking about adoption, one concern in the back of both of our minds was our ability to love another person's child. The depth of love that we feel for Budding Author and Little Mommy is indescribable. We were concerned about whether our hearts could feel that same love for a baby not born between the two of us.

To some reading this, loving someone else's child may not seem like a difficult proposition. For us, it wasn't a huge complication, just a doubt about our own hearts.

God's Word talks a great deal about adoption. The story of Moses being adopted by Pharoah's daughter and the reality of Joseph, 'adopting' Jesus as his own earthly son, proved to be instructional and encouraging. The Bible also talks about believers being 'adopted' into God's family. Now, we aren't theologians, nor are we experienced Bible scholars, but we love God and we believe that He provided just the nudge that we needed right there in His Word.

Additionally, there is no doubt that we, as believers, are to care for those who are unable to care for themselves. For our family, that means physically doing the caring. For other families, it may mean something altogether different. That is what I love about God... we all have a different task and we are perfectly equipped to complete the task that He asks of us.

Bottom line, we just had to trust God on this huge question. The heart's capacity to love has surprised us both. And, I'll tell you what, so far, we've loved each child in a very special way. This is not our doing... again, we could not have willed ourselves to love children outside of our comfort zone.

After Baby Girl left, I had huge doubts about whether I could love another baby as much as I loved her. Even as they were bringing Little Boy Blue through the door, I thought to myself, "what if I cannot do this again?" But there he was. The choice was already made. He was to be loved by me. Why?? Honestly, I don't know.

An even more difficult proposition to consider - loving the 'someone else' who caused this child to be considered neglected, abandoned, abused and unloved. The very first night we had Baby Girl, my sweet hubby was up all night worrying that there was a Mommy somewhere searching for her baby. You see, although Baby Girl was abandoned in a very ugly place, my husband still believed in a mother's love...

We later found out that it was extremely doubtful that her Mom was looking for her anywhere. And the mother's love that fills a typical Mommy's heart gave way to an uncontrollable addiction that causes all things to give way to the need for a fix.

So, how do you love someone who does this to a helpless, innocent, beautiful child of God?? Just like we love any one else. Only with the miraculous, life-changing Spirit of God can we view people through His eyes and not our own. We are not doing well in this area on our own... I am praying for God to peel back the layers of my own prejudice and judgment and allow me to see the horrible bondage that makes a woman sacrifice her child on the altar of illegal drugs.

Heavy stuff.

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