Thursday, January 31, 2008

Loving Little Boy Blue

The day began early, early at 2:30 a.m. with my mind reviewing all of the endless possibilities of the upcoming hours. I did not realize how much this day would weigh on both Alex and me.

With Prince Caspian, we were spared all of this. By the time we heard anything about him, both parental rights had been terminated. We never met his biological Mom or Dad. We did not walk in the precarious position of loving-and-letting-go with him. It is beautiful to be able to feel confident in our future with Prince Caspian. With Little Boy Blue, we have borne the ups and downs while, thankfully, he has been blissfully unaware.

We left our house an hour and a half before the court time. (the drive is typically only 45 minutes) On 380, we encountered two very bad accidents and quickly found ourselves hurtling through the countryside, late, to the very thing we have anticipated for so many months. To top it off, we got lost.

Fortunately, the court was back-logged and our timing turned out to be a blessing to us, as well as to Little Boy Blue's Mom. Is it not funny how what we think is the enemy slowing us down, is actually God giving a tidbit of grace to another Mommy's heart??

She decided to relinquish her parental rights to Little Boy Blue.

If we had been there 5 minutes earlier, we would have been in the courtroom when the guards brought her in and we would have had to witness another human being's deepest hour. I am grateful that she was able to be with her family in the courtroom without our distraction.

We were then brought in the courtroom for the admission of evidence relating to the Great-Grandmother and Grandfather. The testimony revealed new information to us; information about abuse on all levels, information about family dysfunction and information that allowed us to see God's hand in removing this one baby from these cycles.

I hurt. My tears are unending for Little Boy Blue's Mommy. My tears are unending for what her life growing up must have been. I cry a river of thankfulness for this baby's life.

We also found out that CPS has located his birth Dad. He is incarcerated in Odessa and has 6 children. The attorneys are working to terminate his rights. And, then the 90 day appeal/intervention period begins. We continue down this long and winding road, one baby step at a time...

For this moment, I just look to tomorrow. Tomorrow Little Boy Blue has a good-bye visit with his Grandfather and Great-Grandmother. The Great-Grandmother is really pushing us, through an attorney, to allow future visits. We are absolutely sticking to our guns on this one. I cannot imagine a situation where it would be in his best interest to continue a relationship. We will always be open with him, and Prince Caspian, about the beauty of adoption and the gift that their biological Moms both gave them. The revelation of additional information will come as they mature appropriately, and not before.

I pray that Little Boy Blue's Mom finds rest. I pray that she knows peace. I pray that she will find Him and He will change her.


Kerri said...

I read your blog earlier but haven't had opportunity to comment before now.

We are thrilled at the outcome of this. You are so close to the 90 days . . . that's wonderful news! I hope the termination of rights for the dad moves quickly.

I want to tell you that reading your blog led me to tears for the mom and I will continue praying for her.

I'll be praying for you and the final visit tomorrow. I'm glad to know it represents the end of a very tumultuous chapter for young Gabriel . . . one he has been oblivious to but affected by none the less. And I rejoice with your family in the new chapter beginning!!!

Praying the 90 days begin quickly and are uneventful.

much love,

Steve Sensenig said...

It would be really cool if our stories both came to their happy conclusion around the same time.

We're praying for you, and continuing our own wait...

steve :)

Cynda said...

It is amazing how God works in our hearts. He gently breaks them to make room for more love to be directed to those who we would never consider loving otherwise.

We will keep praying for you all and that the process will go smoothly and quickly to bring a conclusion to the roller coaster.

Denise said...

Thank you for sharing your day of such great joy mixed in with the sadness, and all rolled into a God-sized package. Your writing is beautiful and transparent as always.

I'm praying for you guys and for Gabey today as his final visitation is probably nearing its end.

I continue to be amazed at every new chapter of God's amazing plan in this. Wow!

We love you guys!