Update...

If you want to know what is up with us these days, visit The World is Our Classroom. God never stops changing us; cleaning out the old to make way for the new. He amazes me... that He would care to use cracked vessels to help in His mighty work never fails to stop me dead in my tracks. For more of how that is happening, visit us at our other blog. Praying that this day finds you joyful even if you feel stuck in the mire. Many, many blessings to you.

A Glimpse of God's Heart Around Every Corner...

We all place barriers on our hearts. Like it or not, we just put limitations on ourselves and our ability to love. This false perspective of our limitations paralyzes us from 'loving the least of these', as well.

Please don't get me wrong, here. I have no desire to 'guilt' you into considering fostering or adoption... I don't have or want that power. :) However, if God happens to be nudging you and you keep saying 'no, thank you' please prayerfully reconsider. Believe me, I'm in that place right this very minute... Quicker than Dallas, (as they say around these parts) I can run through the reasons why a 'family of 7 or 8' would just not work for me. (I'll spare you all of the gory details!)

And yet, there is a strong conviction for Alex and me that our efforts in this area are not complete. Maybe we will foster, maybe we will adopt, maybe we will raise money for an orphanage somewhere (Poland or Brazil?)... who knows? God knows. And He has not let our hearts rest in this area ... He prods and pokes and makes us both very, very uncomfortable.

Please watch this video, Taking a Chance on Fu Yang... I believe your hearts will be touched by this man's unexpected discovery. We have found situations like these to be around each corner...

Take, for example, a call I received back in January. On the other end of the phone was a stranger; a pregnant young Mommy, without a husband, whose family was completely against her keeping a bi-racial baby. She was calling to see if we might consider adopting her baby when it came into the world.

Our discussion led to something unexpected, she really wanted to keep this baby! It was a privilege to help her figure out how to support the baby, even if her family never came around. And now, a picture hangs on our frig door of a chubby baby girl, 4 months old, with a precious sign that reads 'A Gift from God.' This beauty rests in the arms of her Mommy, with her Grandmother and Great-Grandmother right there beside them. I praise God for such a miraculous turn of events. Forgiveness is supernatural... and, for that matter, so is love.

Smack Dab in the Middle of Life ...

As I sit here, firmly planted at my kitchen table with my morning cup steaming by my side, I realize that on so many levels I'm in the middle. Age wise, according to longevity studies, I'm quickly approaching the middle mark. Maturity wise, I'm 'somewhere in the middle.' And on a personal level, we are smack dab in the middle of a tumultuous job situation.

We are a one-income family, for the most part. My tidbits of legal work do not add anything of financial significance to our family. This places the financial burden completely on the shoulders of my ever-so-capable, strong and handsome Strapping Scotsman. He is one of those who stays with a job until the lights go out, so to speak. He works for a consulting firm in the pharmaceutical industry. Last week we found out that the client he consults with did not get their product approved by the FDA. It will be at least a year before this happens. Not good news. Consulting is a project-by-project gig. The consulting firm he works for does not have another project, they were banking on the one that did not get approved. Therefore, they can only promise Alex a job through the end of May.

We trust that this transition will be resolved and that it will be abundantly clear the direction we are to move. So far, Alex has considered and applied to jobs in Salt Lake City (shock to my system), California (we would live at a very different standard of living!), Denver (great idea!), Research Triangle area of North Carolina (Christy, I'd love to be closer so that our little ones could meet one another and play together!) and Maryland (where I lived as a child.) Could the Waits Family be on the move? Possibly. And yet, something could absolutely pop up right here in North Texas.

Please pray for us, as a family. Uncertainty with employment is not easy, as many of my closest friends know from personal experience. Please pray for Alex's stamina. May we all rest in the One who knows exactly where we will land and when.

Thanks for taking the time to read this blog and be concerned about this family. I'm so grateful to have this sounding board and mode of communication to the people we love most. It is in no way comparable to those one-on-one visits we enjoy; however, it beats the alternative!

Peace!
Laura

What I'm Learning ....

Thank you so much for those encouraging comments and e-mail. Your words, friends, just encourage, encourage, encourage. I'm grateful for each one.

The meeting last night was lovely ... not a huge turnout, but very interested people came through the door. One local judge spoke about what she sees in her family court; a CASA volunteer explained how these volunteers help provide a broad range of services to foster children; Covenant Kids shared great information about the agency and their non-profit ministry; and one other foster Mom and I shared our stories. (Alex really needed to be at a baseball thing with Budding Author, so I went on my own.)

I was first-up and was able to share our story without tears ... surprise! The precious Mom after me made me cry with her words that were straight from the heart.

The most interesting thing about the entire night was that the audience was made up of primarily people over 45 years of age. Several attendees were of retirement age and had already completely raised their biological children and were seeking to foster. Don't you find that incredible? I do.

Lately, as we have contemplated what the future holds for us and fostering, one thing that continually comes up is our age. Why? Why are we so bothered by the fact that we are turning 40 this year and have young children? Is our vanity that large?

Our society certainly places a premium on youth; yet, we aren't supposed to operate by society's goals, right? Why am I bothered? Why when I look in the mirror do I see an aging, tired face and think 'Oh, we could never take any more kids.' That is just nonsense.

I was reminded last night of the faces of children waiting for homes. A reminder like this gets me contemplating a commitment to fostering for the rest of my life on earth. How? I don't know. It just makes no sense for a family who has been blessed with room and love to say 'no.'

The other foster Mom did say I'd stepped on her toes by what I'd shared about loving Little Boy Blue's Mom. I reminded her that by 'loving' I did not mean that I wanted to be his Mom's best friend or that I supported her bad decisions. It just means that I see clearly the bondage his Mom is in and I recognize her need for a Savior, just like me. I think it puts things into perspective. Not an easy proposition, by any means. But we are required to love, like it or not.

As always, I'm just walking one step by one step ... hoping God will shine the light on my path just enough for me to be able to step-up and not trip over the next stair.

Will We Trade Our Dreams For His?

"Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me ....

Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle?"
- Casting Crowns - 'Somewhere in the Middle'

Music stirs me. Music touches the deepest parts of my soul. Music speaks to me. Or maybe I should say, I believe God speaks to me through music.

Casting Crowns is one of my favorite groups of songwriters. In reality, they are poets. I've shared another of their songs on this blog ... one about how a life can crumble gradually. It speaks to me about the need for me to act with sensitivity in relation to Little Boy Blue's Mom.

The song 'Somewhere in the Middle' has played over and over in my car as I've driven the 3 miles down the farm-to-market road toward our home. I've asked myself over and over and over 'am I caught in the middle?' Sometimes I'm resting in His peace while other moments I'm caught up in the details of living in our world. You can listen to the song by clicking below.

Will I trade my dreams for His? This line pierces me. My dreams are my dreams. His dreams are something much more challenging. The path to His dreams causes me discomfort. Yet, my dreams only result in quests for more self-fulfillment. His dreams, while difficult, change me. If I'm unwilling to change and grow at God's prodding, what purpose is there for me?

One Life, One God ...

My Mom brought an outstanding video over for us to watch yesterday. It was called 'Indescribable' with Louie Giglio. He spoke on the absolute vastness of our universe and the enormity of our God. I absolutely recommend this video. You can see a tidbit of the it here ... I was so grateful of the chance to be reminded of just how small we are and how really powerful and huge is our God.

Our Pastor recently spoke about the power of one... one human life working in conjunction with one very big God. This 'One' idea has really stuck with me. He reminded us that one person, doing what God has called him or her to do, with God's help, can make a difference. It doesn't have to be a huge difference; it can be the difference for just one.

I've written in the past about the difficulties of 'closing our doors' to more children knowing that there are so many more waiting. I know that God knows our limits and has it all laid out. I also know that this burden we feel may lead us to very different ministries involving children, very different from foster care and adoption.

One person with One great and mighty God ... Astonishing!

Amen.

Some Exciting News for our Blogging Friends

Two special friends, blogging friends, have some exciting things going on in their adoption experiences... I have to share, in hopes that you, too, will be blessed by their willing hearts and excited for the little ones who may join their families.

*Little Hope Giver at Love Each Child.
*Precious Jewel at For such is the Kingdom.

God is living and active in the lives of these folks! How amazing it is that we get to share in all that He is accomplishing through the lives of others!

Changing Faces

We are getting new caseworkers all the way around. It appears very typical for caseworkers, even within private agencies, to be moved around, promoted and even exit on a frequent basis. This is difficult for families operating within the system.

New individuals do not know the intricacies of each case and it takes a certain period of ramp-up, which causes delays of all sorts. Our CPS caseworker for Little Boy Blue is being promoted... and boy, does she deserve it. She is a go-getter and will, thank God, still supervise his case throughout the legal process. Our Covenant Kids caseworker is getting shifted so that she does not have to drive as much. This makes us very sad. We love her and have grown comfortable with her monthly visits and her friendship.

There are certainly things which make this fostering business very difficult; a change in personnel is one of those things. Another of those challenges presented itself this week with sad news ... a baby who was in our care for respite over the summer passed away. I cannot comment any further, but we are grieving for everyone involved. We rejoice that precious little one is in the presence of God and we will gratefully get to attend his memorial service.

Without a doubt, fostering has been the singular most difficult experience of our lives. For our own ease and comfort, I'd really like to say 'no way, no more' after Little Boy Blue's case is finished. However, when I look back, I also see this time as huge in terms of the growth of our faith. There is nothing we could have done or asked for on our own which would have caused us to rely so heavily on the direction of God. We are being refined, whether we like it or not.

Compassion or Not?

What is Compassion?

My definition of compassion has been challenged; mixed up, mashed, and kneaded until it no longer resembles that which once was. You see, I thought compassion was more about me than anything else... about me feeling sorry for another, as if my 'feeling sorry' actually accomplished anything. My attempts at compassion were easy for me, my attempts at compassion never required me to get my hands dirty.

The most beautiful, compelling definition of compassion was introduced to me on another blog called Seeking the Forgotten. The author lives in Guatemala. She is in the trenches; loving and making a difference in the lives of hurting, lonely children. She has pushed me to think deeper about compassion on several occasions through the pictures and writing on her blog. I only know who she is through her blog, we've never met. Isn't it interesting the way God uses a complete stranger and the internet to challenge very deeply-held beliefs about His work?

The definition she shared was attributed to Henri Nouwen and others when I searched on the web. Here is the definition:

"Compassion ~ is not a bending toward the underprivileged from a privileged position; it is not a reaching out from on high to those who are less fortunate below; it is not a gesture of sympathy or pity for those who fail to make it in the upward pull - .....On the contrary, compassion means going to those people and places where suffering is most acute and building a home there. God's compassion is total, absolute, unconditional, without reservation. It is the compassion of one who keeps going to the most forgotten corners of the world, and who cannot rest as long as he knows that there are still human beings with tears in their eyes."

My self-righteous thoughts about compassion are nipped right in the bud when I read this. What about you? Is compassion something reserved for those few who are 'called' to missions work overseas? Or is compassion something we are all called to as followers of Jesus? Aren't there plenty of opportunities for real, authentic compassion right in front of our eyes?

Is compassion something to only think about a few times per year as we write a check for missions or scan the Angel Tree? Or is compassion a lifestyle, a way of existing?

I'm challenged here... am I really willing to relinquish my 'privileged' position here in my comfy world and extend a hand horizontally to another who might not look, smell or understand anything common to me?

A Zest For The New Task

Giving up something you love to do is difficult. Many Mommies temporarily give up things they love to do... gardening, sewing, baking, painting, etc in exchange for more time with their wee ones.

For me, when we made the decision to follow God and expand our family, I had the difficult task of, at least for the foreseeable future, giving up most of the work I had come to love. I've also found myself sacrificing my time in the garden... I did sow seeds with Baby Girl in a Baby pouch; however, the watering of those seeds was remembered in late July when all shoots were crispy.

I believe that God fills the void left from sacrificing one thing by birthing a love for something else within you; something that 'fits' within the time available. It may be reading alone for 10 minutes, it may be listening to good music, singing around the house, exercising, anything ... God fills in the gap with a tasty 'something else' to bring some sweetness to an ordinary, busy day.

Writing, I've found, is something that I love to do. The beautiful thing is that I would have never discovered an enjoyment for writing had I not let go of the work and, to some extent, my garden. To take it a step further, had we not heeded God's call to adopt, I would have still loved my work and my attempts to be a green thumb; however, I would have missed out on the sweetness of the 'something else.'

Journaling has always been a part of me. My journals are 'stream of consciousness' and not written for any one's eyes but my husband's, my God's and mine. My husband and a close friend have strict instructions to burn the mounting stack of spiral notebooks upon my death. With this blog, and another project an old friend has me working on, I can attempt something I've come to love at any hour of the day... for 5 minutes or 50, depending upon my schedule.

To write something that someone else would want to read is humbling. To share my life in the midst of strong emotions is freeing. To be once again given a task I love is amazing.

Oh, The Things That Distracted Me...

"Eyes blinded by the fog of Things cannot see Truth.
Ears deafened by the din of Things cannot hear Truth.
Brains bewildered by the whirl of Things cannot think Truth.
Hearts deadened by the weight of Things cannot feel Truth.
Throats choked by the dust of Things cannot speak Truth."

-Harold Bell Wright, The Uncrowned King, 1910

This passage sits, written in my hand, in the front of my Bible. It serves as a reminder to me of my lifelong battle with Things. Material Things.

My parents were self-made... people who worked hard together in a traditional marriage to build something from nothing. They were a team, both with equally important roles. It delighted them both to see my sister and me lavished with the extras that they never had growing up. They wanted our lives to be easier than theirs had been.

Their goal was altruistic and also very common for the parents of my peers growing up in suburbia. It was my handling of the situation that caused my problems. Nothing was ever enough for me. I became a 'consumer' of 'Things' in the truest sense of the word. The most fashionable clothing, the expensive car, the latest designer handbag, the expected college and post-graduate education... would anything finally satisfy me? My parents must have been shocked, I am confident that this was not what they intended to create.

In my twenties, my life hit an all-time low. The 'Things' had failed to satisfy and I was a depressed, sad person. I'm only grateful that the epiphany came then, instead of decades later. Through a series of circumstances, I learned how to get by with very little. I still had my parents to fall back on; however, I learned how to shop wisely and, most importantly, to desire less.

Then I met my husband. He was not raised with excess, in fact, the exact opposite. His college was not a 'right' but a privilege garnered from hard work on the athletic field. He was so grateful for his degree from an excellent school. He was and is acutely aware that he would not have had such an opportunity, but for a God-given physical gift. And, once that gift served the intended purpose, my husband closed the door on it and left it behind without any regrets. He is not a man who spends entire weekends watching sports; nor does he live out his unfulfilled dreams through his son's athletic pursuits. In fact, he rarely even watches his alma mater play and would be tickled if our sons become musicians.

So, he rubbed off on me in the area of Things. He was also a person of deep faith back then. Not a perfect man; but a man whose faith in God never wavered. He rubbed off on me in that area, too. He encouraged me to ask question upon question until my perceived intellectual barriers to faith were finally answered.

We have walked together as God has peeled the desire for material things away from me. We learned to live without my salary, we chose a simpler existence in the country, we try very hard not to be impulsive with large purchases. We fail in this area regularly, but materialism does not have a hold on me any longer. There is not a thing that anyone around me owns that I seek, not a thing.

By any standard, we have a great home and nice land. Take the house and leave the land, I'd be just fine. We could live in a trailer on this land and be very, very happy. For that matter, we could live in a trailer anywhere and be happy. We've often talked about picking up and taking a year with our kiddos to see the country in an RV. It sounds like the trip of a lifetime to me. It is doubtful that CPS would approve such an adventure, so that dream will have to wait.

In conclusion, for me, materialism had a grip so tight that I couldn't see, hear, think, feel or speak Truth. Somewhere deep within me was a thirst for that elusive quenched-soul. Finally, I am able to drink from the fountain of Truth, and I am satisfied.

If I Could See Down the Corridors of Time...

There are certainly days where I wish I knew what the future holds... is it 4 children or 70 as Budding Author desires? Is it forever foster care? How will things play out for Little Boy Blue? Is there a baby sister for Little Mommy?

My personality foolishly attempts to plan, predict, manipulate and change life. It is ironic then that our current situation leaves no place or need for my control. Funny, I cannot do a thing to change today no matter how much research I do or how organized I may be.

I laughingly wish to see the future; yet if I really knew what tomorrow held, would I even have the courage to take the next step?

This is my lesson... If God had pulled back the curtain and shown me what 2007 looked like, I would have said 'No thank you, this heart can't handle that. You'll have to pick someone else.' And I would have missed it all!

It all boils down to faith. Do I trust that the God of the universe cares for our family? Do I really believe that He knows Baby Girl and Little Boy Blue and will care for them without my help? Do I really believe He loves me and knows what my heart can handle? Do I really believe that He will work all things together for His good? I do.

We are Alike, She & I

Although I've been quiet on this blog this week, my heart has been anything but quiet. It beats in my chest with excitement, thanksgiving, love and disbelief. The excitement, thanksgiving and love portion is easily understood. The disbelief portion probably requires some explanation...

I've written about Little Boy Blue's Mommy in the past... she and I are connected by this precious baby. Never did I desire to meet her in person, never did I fathom that I would look her in the eyes and see a woman more like me than I ever imagined.

In fact, I've said to God before (and a very special friend) that I could never actually do it, meet her I mean. And then, the letter came. CPS wanted us to meet with them and his Mommy to discuss permanency plans for Little Boy Blue. Unbelievable!

The meeting went very well and the goal is still reunification. Honestly, it was a surprise blessing. I cannot clearly explain in words what it did for me to see her in person. I do know this... she went from being this negative image in my mind to being a living, breathing person, in the flesh. I saw our similarities and also our uniqueness. She and I certainly have more in common than I ever imagined. By commonality, I do not mean likes and dislikes or physical similarity; I mean she and I are both fallen human beings who have made poor choices and are in need of a Savior. It really is that simple.

I have great hope for her and for Little Boy Blue. I can see a Mommy's love shining through, I see a heart and mind capable of so many things. And, I am praying that she feels only God's love through our family. May we cease to judge and begin to fervently pray. Please join us, if you so desire.

Do you believe people can change? I've heard on and off my entire life that people don't change. If that is true, why did God even bother sending Christ to this earth? Is His salvation and redemption only for the future? Are we stuck in our poor choices, doomed to repeat them over and over? May it never be so. We believe in a God who came so that we may have LIFE; so that we might be changed through the power of Christ and the Holy Spirit.

Before I get too theological and scare our Pastor to death, I'll end with this. We believe, without a doubt, that Little Boy Blue's Mommy can change and we believe in the One who can speak to her heart and extend His sufficient grace to her to make that change come about. May she see Him everywhere she turns and may she be so touched by His life-changing power that she never turns back.

This is a difficult place where we have arrived... we are in this fostering thing for the long haul. I'd never have expected it or desired it, but here we are. If I had my preference, I'd say 'forget it, I give up, this is way too difficult.' And then I look into Little Boy Blue's eyes, I see our children loving him with something very real, I see my husband lovingly exercising his little body to relieve the continued stiffness and I realize that he is ours, at least for a season.

Valiant Warrior is Heading Home!

Great news! Last night there was a real breakthrough in Valiant Warrior's headaches. In trying to discover the reason for the headaches, the neurosurgeon replayed the surgery in her mind. She remembered that the exact place where his headache was centered was a spot where she had really disrupted a muscle. So, an anti-inflammatory was given last night and there was almost immediate resolution to the headache!

I feel great relief for his Mom and Dad. They have withstood a great deal of stress these last few days, wondering if he would be having to 'learn to live' with the headaches. Thank you, Lord, for watching over this family, for providing peace for them in this trial.

And thank you to the many friends who read this and have prayed for Valiant Warrior. He is so special and I can't wait to share his life with you in the future.

May God Be With You, O Valiant Warrior!

I want to tell you a love story... it is a love story on many levels; the love of God for a young man, the love of a Mom and Dad for a son, the love of a brother, the love of dear friends for a boy they care about as if he were their own.

The young man I'll call Valiant Warrior. He was born almost 20 years ago with Cerebral Palsy. God knew exactly what Valiant Warrior would need during his time on earth and so He graciously placed Valiant Warrior into the arms of two amazing parents. A Mommy who unselfishly loves, cares for and teaches... and a Daddy who fiercely protects and risks for the sake of his family.

Valiant Warrior was also given a very special younger brother. I'll call him Boy Wonder. Boy Wonder is 16, yet has the maturity of someone much older. You see, he has watched, helped, sacrificed for and encouraged Valiant Warrior from day one. Boy Wonder is a basketball whiz. He once told his parents that he plays hard because he is playing for Valiant Warrior, too.

We have the privilege of being dear friends to Valiant Warrior and his family. We have watched Valiant Warrior as he referees basketball, tutors elementary children, received his homeschool high school diploma and encourages a sports team of special needs children that was founded in his honor. And this week, we watch and pray as he undergoes a very serious surgery, a hemispherectomy.

Valiant Warrior has fought an amazing fight these last few years... one which those watching can only stand in awe of. He has lived his life with seizures that have become so frequent and serious that medication can no longer quell them. He has functioned on an amazing level, all the while anticipating the 'next seizure.'

This week, he has hope. Tomorrow, Valiant Warrior goes to the hospital for a day of testing and blood work. Wednesday he has a 5-6 hour surgery which will, in all hope, make Valiant Warrior seizure-free for the rest of his life!

Friday night we spent the evening at his home. We played Mexican Train dominoes... which, by the way, Valiant Warrior rules over! And we laughed, a lot. Thank you, God! Valiant Warrior is a huge sports fan... and so he had to take a break from dominoes to watch wrestling.

Valiant Warrior told me about a song that gives him great strength. When I really listened to the words of this song yesterday, they pierced my soul. The depth of his hope and the prayer for his life are right there mingled in... I thought I'd share it with you, so you, too, could catch a glimpse at this amazing young man's heart. The song is called 'Voice of Truth' by Casting Crowns...

Oh what I would do to have

The kind of faith it takes

To climb out of this boat I'm in

Onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone

Into the realm of the unknown

where Jesus is

And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name

And they laugh at me

Reminding me of all the times

I've tried before and failed

The waves they keep on telling me

Time and time again.

"Boy, you'll never win!""You'll never win!"

But the voice of truth

tells me a different story

The voice of truth says,

"Do not be afraid!"

The voice of truth says,

"This is for My glory"

Out of all the voices calling out to me

I will choose to listen and believe

the voice of truth

Oh what I would do to have

The kind of strength it takes

to stand before a giant

With just a sling and a stone

Surrounded by the sound

of a thousand warriors

Shaking in their armor

Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name

And he laughs at me

Reminding me of all the times

I've tried before and failed

The giant keeps on telling me

Time and time again,

"Boy you'll never win!""You'll never win!"

But the stone was just the right size

To put the giant on the ground

And the waves they don't seem so high

From on top of them lookin' down

I will soar with the wings of eagles

When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus

Singing over me

I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth!

Will you join us in prayer this week for Valiant Warrior and his family? May he rest in the arms of God, may he experience the peace that passes all understanding and may he hear the sweet sound of Jesus singing over him.

(Double click below to watch the video...)

How Many More Are There??

Let me describe a few of the children we were called about yesterday, just to see what emotion it evokes in you...

• 2 little girls, ages 19 mos and 2 mos. Their Dad is in prison, their Mom a meth addict.
• An approximately 3-year old little boy in a diaper left at the bus station in downtown Dallas... alone.
• A 2-month old little boy possibly being taken out of the home for 'failure to thrive'... in other words, he has not been fed. His father was raised in the foster care system himself. Both of his parents are young.

And that was just yesterday. What in heaven's name is happening? If we are getting this many calls, how many children are out there? From what we've heard, at any given time, there are 4,000 children in foster care in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex. Over 50% of those will be adoptable at some future time.

It is easy to look in the face of Little Boy Blue and thank God for him and his time with us; but what about the others, what about the ones who don't get out? Right now, this is probably the biggest question I desperately want to ask God when I see him face to face. But then again, I somehow feel the answer... this is the mess we have made of our world; these are the consequences of all of our choices; this is what sin produces. It still hurts.

We did not end up with any of these children. We were selected for the 3rd one listed... but, at the last minute, he was able to go back to his parents last night for another chance. We were very happy for him and pray for his parents to learn what to do and to have some support in their efforts.

We will never know exactly what happened with the others; just like we probably won't know what happened to Baby Girl. My heart literally grieves every time I get a call and, for one reason or another, we aren't the family that CPS envisions for that child. Or, sometimes, we know our limits and are unable to say 'yes.'

Maybe I've given too much information in this post... I may have crossed the line in terms of privacy. But I had to lay it out there for someone to see... for you to see. This is the reality of today's world. We can try to close our eyes to it and hum to ourselves so we don't hear it... but, it doesn't disappear.

And God whispers to me, every so softly, 'just love the ones I've given you.' And I desperately do.

Of Birthdays and Weddings

Last weekend we celebrated Budding Author's 7th birthday. It was a fun-filled time with friends and family. Birthdays of our children always cause me to pause... this year, more than any other year, I have been asking myself some difficult questions...

Are we nurturing him to become the unique human being he was created to be? Or are we attempting to create 'mini me' or 'mini hubby?' Are we providing him examples of beauty, purity, excellence and truth so that he will know a counterfeit when he sees one? Are we giving him the freedom to explore life for himself and allow God to speak directly to his heart? Or are we attempting to force-feed our faith on him, depriving him of the experience of knowing God for himself?

May we always attempt to simply plant and water the seed and allow God to do the rest. Budding Author is not me; he is not my husband. And we should never expect him to be such.

Weddings... aren't they the most amazing of reminders? We attended a beautiful outdoor wedding this weekend on Lake Grapevine. The bride entered in a horse-drawn carriage. It was just lovely. Little Mommy said she was 'just like a princess.' And she was. The love between the bride and groom is firmly-rooted in faith. The joy was ours to celebrate with them.

Weddings also cause me to pause... these moments in a life; these chapters; these stones of remembrance. Weddings are reminders that hope continues, it lives and thrives. Despite all of the challenge this life presents, hope endures and peeks from the rubble of life every single sunrise.

May hope be yours today!