A Day Without Worry...

I'd like to 'think' I've always been a 'thinker.' However, the reality is that I spent a large part of my life as a 'worrier.' What is the real difference?

When I was in college, I wore my worry like a badge. The girls at my college from my hometown would race to see who could call their Mom first with tales of a 'stressed out' day. The stress we experienced had nothing to do with the great questions of our world. Stress related only to superficial things: relationships, peers, clothing, gossip and so on.

I've heard the phrase, "Worry borrows." Wrong. Worry steals. There is no borrowing to it. Worry does not have any intention of giving back the hours it takes. Worry steals. Permanently.

Worry takes an ordinary beautiful day and turns it into a gut-wrenching, headache-driven, tedious series of minutes. Worry takes a delightful relationship and twists it into a paranoid, soul-numbing, dreaded conversation. Worry removes our freedom to think and move in a way that pleases God.

Flip the coin... To think is to ponder, mull over, and chew on something until you have a conclusion that satisfies. Perhaps the conclusion is not permanent or complete. A conclusion can simply be a recognition of mystery. I spend many hours of day and night thinking. Even when I'm doing the most mundane of Mommy tasks, I'm conducting a running conversation with myself regarding some topic of interest.

Where worry steals, thought graciously gives. Thought expands, thought provokes, thought pushes. Thought joins us all in the great conversation. It is not as if we are thinking about things that have never been thought before... there are heaps and piles of commentary on the subjects we seek.

I have certainly been criticized for 'thinking too much.' Valid criticism when my thinking crosses that imaginary line into worry. Every now and again, it does. God specifically asks us not to worry or be anxious but to instead go to Him with a thankful heart and present our concerns to Him. God does not ask us not to think... in fact, we are to love Him with our mind.

I believe that God enjoys my questions and my thinking... and it is He who gently reminds me that my worry alone cannot accomplish, it cannot solve. Oh, the day is bright and beautiful... may I allow it to be what it is rather than clouding it with worry.