Bittersweet Friday

Bittersweet - bit-r-swt, Pleasant and unpleasant, or bitter and sweet, at the same time; tinged with sadness.

If you have followed our journey for any length of time, you will remember that Fridays are the day that Little Boy Blue visits with his Mommy. Two weeks ago, Little Boy Blue made the trek to 'busitation' (as Little Mommy calls it). His Mommy was sick and did not make it. My heart felt that it was something more. I simply cannot explain why. Just suffice it to say that my Mommy antennae were up and sniffing around.

Last Friday, 'busitation' went on as normal with Little Boy Blue's caseworker bringing him home and sharing loads of information and encouragement with us. Not encouragement that Little Boy Blue was going to be ours, just encouragement in general about our fostering, etc. She told us that we would have Little Boy Blue until at least early 2008. We were sad that he would not spend Christmas with his Mommy, but were certainly excited to have him with us. So, I thought my Mommy hunch about the week before was just rubbish.

This morning, we got a call that Little Boy Blue's Mommy is in a heap of trouble. Oh, my faint heart. I cannot keep it from roaming through the fields of 'what if' or 'what is next.' My desire for Little Boy Blue to be permanently reunited with his Mommy directly conflicts with my desire for hubby and me to raise him. Bittersweet.